I adore me personally a
energy lesbian
. Provide me personally a dyke with authority, and my clothing are arriving down. I Am Not actually picky about specifics—
butch
or
femme
, younger or older, slim or curvy—as very long as you have expert, you may be my personal type. Therefore I want to write an ode to the power lesbians worldwide: the father dykes, the
Bettes
, the tech queers, the bossy babes, the manager hotties, the lesbian putting on a headset and bossing myself about, the energy dykes available to you. This one is actually for you.

1. Power Suits Are Hot AF

The thing that makes me personally drool more challenging than perfectly charred octopus and fingerling carrots is actually a hot dyke in a suit.

F*ck me right up.

2.

Power

Lesbians Are Hot AF

I know this is exactly basically the exact same reason i recently talked about, but it’s really worth pointing out once more, sluts. Power lesbians tend to be HOT. Energy lesbians are HORNY. And this goes

means

beyond simple appearance; its an energy, an ambiance, a swagger. It actually does not actually matter if a power lesbian isn’t “hot” by social standards. Power lesbians are always, constantly, constantly gorgeous, simply because they

are

energy lesbians.

3. I Enjoy Be Bossed Around

You can see, as an out-of-her-mind, anxious, always-late, dripping-in-spray-tan femme, I need a father to corral me personally. Positive, I can deal with my self in a specialist environment. (I enable you to get day-to-day lez content, cannot I?) But place me personally in society, and I also just want to be directed and bossed about. That will be, as much as possible manage myself talking straight back.

4. They Use Headsets

Why? who will be they even talking to? I do not care and attention.

5. Dinner Is Purchased

Cheapness makes my pussy dry out. Fortunately, power lesbians never play the ridiculous, “let’s split the bill” thing.

6. They Drink Responsibly

We have constantly had batshit crazy, manic, celebration woman buddies which convert myself into a mom. I’m like Mother Theresa when compared to many of the girls exactly who, i have chosen, are my siblings. (today we’re earlier and far more boring.) But in the last, I must be the goody two footwear, the custodian, the responsible one (which can be low-key terrifying), when in truth, i needed are one sipping with careless abandon, blinking the club, and producing discerning excursions into bathroom. Having an electric lesbian to drink responsibly and then make myself feel safe enables us to become crazy party girl I’ve usually held tame caused by my personal cray-cray pals.

7. They I Would Ike To Call Them Daddy

Within the terms of
Zara Barrie
,

PURR.

8. They may be Too Busy along with their Careers to get involved with Semantics Wars Over the Internet

Everyone loves
energy lesbians
because they don’t proper care whether you determine as
queer
,
lez
,
bi
, whatever. They really have actually other things to bother with, like their e-mail inboxes and deadlines. Oh, and not to say, they are adult enough not to care and attention exactly how anyone personally determines.

9. They Tell Me I Am Quite

Which, back at my hierarchy of requirements, has reached the most notable. And middle. And base.

10. Slaying the Patriarchy Is Their Full-Time Job

Power lesbians normally are employed in typically male-dominated industries, such as for instance business, politics, technology, news media, etc. To get the wherewithal to fight through every micro-aggressions they feel on a daily basis—plus appearing way sexier than their particular male alternatives? The feminist icons we want.

11.

Confidence

Is Key

To obtain through all misogynist stuff they cope with of working, power lesbians require confidence. Fortunately, for thirsty AF femmes like me, this confidence additionally results in them unabashedly hitting on ladies, directly asking all of them over to their unique confronts, and using them house.

12. Fancy Cheese: The Best Aphrodisiac

Power dykes choose order fancy cheddar plates. I love to

eat

elegant cheese plates.

13. We Feast on Oysters

Oysters will be the unofficial meals of this power lesbian tradition. Thank you so much for visiting my personal TED chat.

14. You Can Place One Out Of Instruction

Whenever I met my girl, she had no idea that she could achieve complete daddy potential. But I could spot it from a mile away. Which is the reason why i’ll be holding a daddy-in-training boot camp for everyone curious. In my own room.

15. They Actually Do Things Other Than Drink

They’re going on week-end travels. They go to galleries. They head to their loved ones.

16. They Are Worldly and Learn About Guides, Caviar, and Paris

An extremely cultured lot, those power lesbians. Whatever can study on me is actually Lana Del Rey’s entire discography, finding the greatest pasta in Ny, and ways to reach their particular complete daddy prospective.

17. They Know Just How To Carry Out Taxes

That’s hot.

18. Loafers Turn Myself On

LOAFERS ARE VERY F*CKING SEXY. Give myself polished men’s room sneakers on gorgeous power lesbians or provide me personally death.

19. Their Particular Ego Is Actually Considerably Below F*ckboys, But Their Swag Stays the exact same

The gender appeal, nothing associated with immature video games.

20. I JUST LIKE THESE!

I really perform.

Are you currently an electrical lesbian? Inform us into the responses! Or, like, call me.